Tuesday, September 11, 2018

Wednesday, August 22, 2018

Life has definitely changed a lot since I was a kid. When it comes to our children, we’re a lot more safety conscious than our parents were. People in my generation actually rode bikes with no helmets and rode in cars with no air bags. We even drank water straight out of the garden hose and lived to tell about it! There’s nothing wrong with being protective of our children—my kids accuse me of being overprotective all the time. The problem comes when we start thinking happiness means being safe and comfortable and when our goal in life becomes the avoidance of all risk. When our top priority is to be safe and secure, we lose touch not just with the needs of others but with a primary need of our own.

We were created for so much more than punching buttons and scrolling screens. We were created for a grand adventure! God designed us to take great risks and face huge challenges, to accomplish mighty goals that will have a lasting impact.

If you discovered that you only had one month to live and you began considering how you could leave a lasting global legacy, you might be tempted to think, It’s too late. I don’t have the money or power needed to make a difference in this world. But never underestimate the power of one. It’s the ability each of us has, every day, to be used by God to bless the rest of the world.

Power of One

Perhaps Helen Keller summed it up best: “I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.”

When we are reminded on the nightly newscast of global problems like world hunger, the AIDS epidemic, war, and famine, we often respond with numbing apathy or resigned defeat. Most of us are tempted to think, Why even try? The issue is so enormous and complex that I’ll never make a difference.

There is a temptation to make these problems abstractions instead of daily realities for individual human lives. But if we realign our view with God’s perspective, we will do what we can do, no matter how small or inconsequential our efforts may appear. If we touch one life, we may make the difference between life and death—physical as well as spiritual—for another human being. If we make it a habit to do what we can, when we can, where we can, we will be transformed as we help others.

Action Required

Often we’re inspired to love others by giving of ourselves—offering what we have to help them overcome their problems and enrich their lives. We offer our bodies as living sacrifices when we give of our time, our talent, and our treasure. If you want to experience the full adventure that your life is intended to be, then you have to be willing to take action and serve those in need with God’s love. The Bible has a lot to say about caring for the needs of the poor. “If a man shuts his ears to the cry of the poor, he too will cry out and not be answered” (Proverbs 21:13). God holds us accountable for how we use our blessings to help the poor and hurting.

As far as talents go, we all have talents, every single one of us. But we devise all kinds of excuses: “Well, I’m really not a Bible scholar, so I can’t teach or do missions” or “I really don’t have much money left over to support charity.” But think about what you can do. Consider the expertise you have in the jobs you’ve worked—whether it’s construction, banking, sales, medicine, or education. You have knowledge, abilities, and skills that can change the lives of others if you’ll only share them. Can you listen and care? offer a smile? hug a child? Most of us underestimate the power we have just by being present in the life of someone else.

Money and how we spend it also reveal a great deal about who we are and what we value. God says it’s okay to be blessed financially as long as we do two things with our money and possessions. Number one: enjoy what we have instead of always wanting more. And number two: give generously. If we do these two things, we’ll grow in maturity and enjoy a level of satisfaction that money can never buy. But if we hoard our blessings and take God’s goodness for granted, our hearts will harden, and we’ll never be able to reconcile with the things that matter most.

The final way we grow in maturity and create a world-conscious heart is to work in community. Whether it’s through our churches, our schools, our companies, our neighborhoods, or our families, we’re called to come together to help others. “For just as you have many members in one physical body and those members differ in their functions, so we, though many in number, compose one body in Christ and are all members of one another. Through the grace of God we have different gifts” (Romans 12:4–6, Phillips). Together we can literally change the world.

Make It Last for Life

For the next month, choose one item of comfort, luxury, or convenience that you’ll do without. It might be your daily Starbucks, the half-hour sitcom before bed, your favorite dessert, or something similar. Use the time or money that generally goes to this item for a larger purpose—praying, contributing to world philanthropy or missions, or offering your services to someone in need.
What cause, situation, or people group have you always been moved by? It might be the war- torn Middle East, people with AIDS in your own city, or missions in China, but most of us have been drawn at one time or another to a concern outside our usual orbit. This week spend some time praying for these people and researching ways you can serve them—using your time, your talents, and your treasure. Commit to a specific goal that will meet some of the needs of the people facing these issues.
Needs are all around us, and we don’t have to leave our neighborhood, let alone our country, to give sacrificially. This week initiate a local service project in your area. You might work with your church, a community Web site (blog sites are great for this), or your department at work. Commit to a specific goal—for instance, making home repairs for a single mom or widow, collecting clothes for a shelter, or raising money for relief funds. Set a date, and determine the role each person in the group will play in meeting the need and getting the job done.

Saturday, August 11, 2018

Questions about Anxiety

“The biggest smiles hide the deepest secrets.” — Unknown.

It’s human nature to take people at face value.

Every time you meet a person, you’re probably not going to think too deeply about what might lie beneath the surface. After all, first impressions are what count, so we’re told.

Quite often, it’s those who seem the happiest that are struggling the most.

Many people would probably think I’m quite a confident person. I’m outgoing and chatty and so they’d be forgiven for thinking so. In some ways, I am confident! It’s weird.

Though I really hope we can end the stigma surrounding mental health and I do think such conversations need to become more frequent and “normal,” I still hide my own intrusive thoughts and worries a lot of the time. In fact, at first, the effort to hide and disguise my anxiety from others was more consuming than the problem itself.

I would rather say, “I can’t come today because I’ve got a sickness bug,” instead of, “I’m sorry, I’m feeling too anxious.”

But the truth is, anxiety can be completely overwhelming. It impacts nearly every aspect of my life and it never really has a day off. Some days are better than others, but it’s still there.

Even if I don’t feel anxious, I’m very conscious about it, and then I wonder “why aren’t I feeling anxious?!” which makes me panic anyway. You can imagine, it’s very unhelpful.

Here are some of the thoughts I have pretty much every single day:

1. Something terrible is going to happen.

2. I’m going to get stuck in a horrible situation I can’t get out of.

3. How am I going to explain myself if I need to leave?

4. I need to carefully plan my day so there is no room for things to go wrong.

5. I’m definitely going to embarrass myself.

6. Everyone is going to notice I’m acting strange.

7. I feel sick and have a tummy ache, so I must be poorly. It isn’t just my anxiety today.

8. Why do I feel like this?

9. Why can’t I be normal?

10. Will this ever go away?

The truth is: Unless I’m with certain friends, certain family members or my boyfriend, I’m never going to tell anyone I’m feeling like this. And honestly, people aren’t going to know.

I’ve become good at disguising it.

I might be laughing or joking, or chatting away, but my mind could be somewhere else entirely.

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Emotionally Overwhelmed

1. We can't think.

Slide 1 of 10

We become confused at work, forget where we put the car keys—again—or completely space out during an important activity. Trying to come up with a new project or creative idea seems taxing, almost impossible. We may lose the capacity for routine tasks such as brushing our teeth or remembering to add soap to the laundry.

What you can do about it: During the overwhelming brain freeze, it’s important to realize you’re probably not heading for early-onset Alzheimer’s. You are just overwhelmed by the stresses of life and the burdens of others. Take a deep breath. Make a list and slowly accomplish one thing at a time. Give yourself grace and ask forgiveness when you forget your child’s soccer game.

2. We can't sleep.

Slide 2 of 10

Although we feel exhausted by the burdens we bear, restful sleep seems as far away as next year’s vacation. We wake up in the middle of the night, worry about the latest problem and try to pray for everybody whose name starts with “J.” We climb out of bed and pace for a while until we feel tired enough to try sleep again.

What you can do about it: Keep the electronics away from your nightstand and turn off the computer at least one hour before bedtime. Before you climb into bed, cast every care on the One who never sleeps. Ask God to deal with any problems while you rest. Breathe deeply and focus on the peace Christ promised us. Try not to let troubles climb into bed with you (John 14:1).

3. We feel impatient.

Slide 3 of 10

Waiting in line at the grocery store or twiddling our thumbs during a stop light. The computer rep on the phone puts us on hold—again. Doesn’t she know we’re busy serving the Lord? Number One son needs help with his math homework, but he can’t seem to understand basic algebra. The boss adds another task to the already overloaded calendar. Impatience makes us snap, because peace has left the building.

What you can do about it: Give yourself time to finish projects. Don’t over-promise anything. Fight against the perfectionism that leads to self-doubt and self-sabotage. Read Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist. Shauna describes herself as being “exhausted and isolated, soul and body sick.” Then she learned how to pull back, how to protect her emotional energy and how to choose only the projects that fed her soul.

4. We can't pray.

Slide 4 of 10

Communion with God suddenly feels like a rote experiment. We may read our required devotion every morning and repeat the usual “Thank you, God” prayer, but communication seems frazzled. God feels far away. We wonder if we have committed some terrible sin, or we may think God is pruning us for future service. But the One who promised to never leave us seems to have checked out.

What you can do about it: Read Psalm 59:3, especially in the Amplified version.“Fierce and mighty men are banding together against me, not for my transgression nor for any sin of mine.” This season is not your fault. When you’re emotionally exhausted, it’s difficult to communicate with anyone: spouse, friend, child, even the Yorkie terrier. When you can’t pray, it’s a signal from your soul: time to schedule a retreat and get away from all the mess.

5. We feel overburdened.

Slide 5 of 10

Like a heavy blanket, we know the struggles are piling up. Too many people with too many problems. So many meetings to attend and problems to fix. Shoulders feel tight and a migraine threatens. A coronary episode feels imminent. Is it time for a physical? You canceled the last one because the denominational conference seemed more important and you had to give the opening devotion.

What you can do about it: Talk to a close friend, someone you can trust. Release the burdens and let your friend help you pray. When Moses felt the burdens of battle, Aaron and Hur helped to lift his hands (Exodus 17). They were beside him for the duration. Their strength added to his power and the Israelites won.

6. We don't want to be around people.

Slide 6 of 10

Emotional overwhelm may manifest in people resentment, especially for introverts. We’re already dealing with family dynamics and church problems. Another friend is in spiritual trouble and screaming for help. Our teenager just discovered her first zit and screamed, “Make it go away, Mom!” But we simply do not have the energy to come up with solutions for all the problems in our world. Our service well is completely dry.

What you can do about it: It’s time to build healthy boundaries. The word “no” is just as spiritual as, “Sure, I’ll help.” You don’t have to answer every text or read through every email. You can say, “Hmm, I’ll get back to you later.” Take a rejuvenating nap. Fight for self-care and avoid codependency. Remember the example of Jesus. When the people pressed around him, he rowed across the lake and took a nap (Luke 8:22). He protected his emotional reserves. You can learn to do the same.

7. We become moody.

Slide 7 of 10

A snarky attitude begins to take over. We find ourselves snapping at the news anchor because he only reports the bad stuff. We yell at the kids even though they’re just being kids when they run through the house or spit out vegetables. We yell at the cars next to us and use words that are better left unspoken. We hope nobody from church finds out we just cussed at the school crossing guard. All those negative emotions are trying to spill out. They need a release valve. If you don’t do something soon, you will either explode or you’ll internalize which can lead to emotional implosion.

What you can do about it: It’s time to do something physical. Go to the gym and beat on the punching bag. Take a brisk walk around the block — alone. Talk out your emotions as you walk. My favorite release is to beat a cardboard box around the back yard using my son’s baseball bat. Sometimes I label the box with the name of a situation causing me grief. I have destroyed numerous boxes but afterward, I felt better.

8. We feel numb.

Slide 8 of 10

The numbness of emotional overwhelm is actually more dangerous than moodiness or the expression of negative behaviors. Numbing means we’ve internalized the emotions and now we’re in danger of major problems. Especially for people in ministry, numbing seems like a protective device. But later, sometimes years later, another emotional overload adds to the enormous burden. We find ourselves trying to self-medicate and doing things we never would have imagined. We suddenly realize we are the ones in trouble.

What you can do about it: Find a credible counselor, someone you can trust and someone who is skilled. This may be the time to consider medication to help you get over the hump and give you the ability to function. Visit your primary care doctor or a psychiatrist who can prescribe antidepressants if they are needed.

9. We stop having fun.

Slide 9 of 10

The kids want to go to a movie or out for pizza but we just want to take a nap. The family wants to schedule a vacation but we can’t think of a single place to go. Game night becomes boring. Date night seems impossible. The usual sitcom that makes us laugh now offers no relief. We punch through the channels and consider getting rid of cable because nothing’s on TV anyway.

What you can do about it: Make just one change. Sometimes one change begins a stepping stone of transition to help you climb out of the pit. One change may release some of the tension. Even a change in routine might bring back some enjoyment in life: a different coffee shop, a new outfit, a fun hair color. That single action may you help make it through a difficult season.

10. We suffer with chronic illness.

Slide 10 of 10

A series of colds or flu or a strange virus suddenly attacks. This can happen even months after the emotional trauma eases. The body has carried too much for too long and becomes toxic. It unloads those emotional poisons. Unfortunately, many of us wait too long for this wake up call. As ministry exhaustion flayed my emotions, I began to notice monthly colds. Just as I conquered one, another one attacked. Then bronchial pneumonia set in and it was four months before I could sleep without coughing.

What you can do about it: Pay attention now to the rest your body needs. Take care of yourself with regular doctor visits and proper nutrition. Nuts or a magnesium supplement can help restore energy. Make daily exercise a priority. Self-care is a vital spiritual discipline.

Life is filled with emotional stress. We can learn to be proactive with our time and with our choices. We can protect our hearts from the emotional overwhelm we feel and live more abundantly with joy.

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

When Your Identity Changes Again

“God had already decided that through Jesus Christ he would make us his children — this was his pleasure and purpose.” Ephesians 1:5 (GNT)

I arrived at my doctor’s appointment, walked up to the front desk to check-in and sat down to update the standard forms.

Address correct? Check. Age correct? Check. Medical history accurate? Check. Marital status? Stare at the wall.

Two little words stumped me completely.

As I sat there in a cold waiting room filled with other patients filling out their forms with ease, tears began to well up in my eyes as it had only been a few short months since my husband of 25 years had walked out of my life. I’d been thrust into a life of total confusion, chaos and pain, and now had no clue how to answer this seemingly simple question.

Was I single? No. Was I married? No, at least not in the normal sense of the word. Was I divorced? No. Was I widowed? No, although it felt like it. I was none of the options. So … who was I?

A new moan of emptiness echoed in the caverns of my soul. As I held the incomplete forms in hand, I was faced with the reality that I didn’t know who I was anymore. Insecurities and heartache had wreaked havoc on my self-confidence. The old me was gone, and this new me was now merely existing, trying to survive each day.

This new me was so broken she hadn’t even considered some of the shattered pieces yet. This new me was now unexpectedly having a full-blown identity crisis in a doctor’s office because she didn’t fit into any normal societal “box.”

I remember thinking, “Who am I now?” and “Where do I belong?” Not just on this medical form, but in society, friendships, church and life in general? Who am I if I’m no longer a “wife”?

As I drove home in silence after my appointment, I stared blankly at the road ahead, still struggling with this question of my identity. Suddenly the silence was broken when I heard a gentle, yet life-changing, whisper in my spirit:

“The end of your marriage is not the end of you.”

It was a startling thought that I believe could have only come from God, as He was the only One who knew my uncertain state. The only One who knew the depth of my struggle, and therefore the only One who could offer the exact reassurance I so desperately needed to hear.

Sweet words serving as a holy reminder my identity is not determined by a role, a title or a box to check on a form.

I was still me, just a new version of me in a new phase of life. Still a woman God created in His image, whom God had a plan and a purpose for, despite life’s disappointments. A woman who still had value, even if someone else couldn’t see it. A woman who was still a mother, daughter, sister, friend, Jesus-girl, writer, speaker, tennis player, coffee fanatic, beach-lover and more.

A woman who was a beloved daughter of the King.

I was reminded by God that although my worldly role/title had changed, my identity in Christ was secure and remained the same, which is the truth Paul shared with the church in Ephesus.

In today’s key verse, Paul explains the new identity given to someone in Christ. Ephesians 1:5 says, “God had already decided that through Jesus Christ he would make us his children — this was his pleasure and purpose.” Paul wanted believers to know they would always be chosen, adopted, loved unconditionally and accepted by God and that it pleased Him to call them His own.

If we as believers don’t fully embrace our identity as children of God, we become vulnerable to allowing circumstances, changes in titles and roles, life transitions and other people determine our identity and self-worth instead. What we do or don’t achieve, what our title or role is or isn’t, and what others think about us does not define who we are. Only God does. He is the source of our identity.

Despite having felt for months that my marriage ending signified the end of me, I realized I was still the same me God created me to be. I was His. And that was enough.

Lord, help me always remember my identity is found in You alone, and I am Yours, no matter how my life changes. Help me see and love myself as You do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

TRUTH FOR TODAY:
Romans 8:16, “The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God.” (NKJV)

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Daily Habits to Start

35 Almost Daily Habits That Make Life Great

Go to bed early. I know most people like to get things done after their kids are asleep. Honestly, I would like that luxury as well, but I don’t have it. I have laid down in the bed with my kids every night since forever, and they expect it even at 7 and 10. It is our special time together where we talk and giggle and they spill their hearts to me in the dark before we all fall asleep in their bunk beds. I love it and wouldn’t give it up even for an extra hour of alone time.
What this means in the practical sense is that I am in bed by 9 pm and asleep by 10 pm just about every night.
Get up early. The other side of going to bed early is that I can wake up early. I have many times complained that people who say to get up early are simply unrealistic, but at this stage of my life, it is totally doable for me. I set my alarm for 6 but usually put my feet on the floor around 6:30. Sometimes my girls get up by 7 and sometimes they sleep in, but I don’t wake them unless we have to leave the house for some reason.
When I am blessed with alone time in the morning, I read and enjoy my water and putter around on the computer or watch Outlander, just whatever makes me happy.
Weigh myself. I am slightly obsessive about weighing myself. It’s not for everyone, and perhaps some day I will back off and only weigh myself once a week like you’re supposed to, but weighing myself is the first thing I do after I pee every morning. My weight does fluctuate by day, just like everyone’s, but I can see early on in the day how I did the day before with my food and water intake and whether I need to make some changes for the next day.
Start the day with a very large glass of water. Your body is about 65% water, and you lose a lot of that as you sleep (and when you pee first thing in the morning, right?). Starting the day with a large glass of water not only helps you get in what you need for the day, it rehydrates your body from a long dry night.
Take vitamins. Because I am a bariatric surgery patient, I have to take vitamins every day for the rest of my life. It’s a good habit for everyone, though, even healthy adults with a good diet, because it fills in the gaps and makes you healthier and more energetic. I take my vitamins twice a day.
Get dressed. I used to be a person who stayed in her pajamas all day every day. No more, not for a motivational reason, but because I get cold since I’ve lost so much weight. Now, I get up, drink my water and take my meds and vitamins, and then get dressed and put on my slippers.
Light a candle. I’m on a candle kick right now, but diffusing essential oils would be just as good. I enjoy having a comfortable and familiar fragrance floating on the air, and I like the flicker of the flame. My current favorites are Yankee Candles in Honeycrisp Apple Cider fragrance, but any pleasing scent will do.
Brain dump. First thing in the morning, I write down everything that’s on my mind. I write down everything I want to accomplish for the day, any blog post ideas that are rattling around, and anything else that comes to mind. It really helps my focus and attention for the whole day by getting down what would otherwise distract me.
Evaluate my brain dump. When I’m writing the brain dump, I write down every single thing in my brain. But after I have it all down, I think critically about each thing. Does it really need to get done today? Can it wait? Can I cross it off forever without guilt? I can’t do everything, so I don’t try.
Eat a high protein breakfast within an hour of waking. My favorite breakfast is a fried egg with a cheddar jack cheese stick, but it doesn’t have quite enough protein for my current needs, so I have a cup of Greek yogurt with protein powder mixed in. Whatever you choose for breakfast, it needs to contain a large proportion of protein to get your brain and body functioning at its best right off the bat.
Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is the act of focusing all your attention on the thing right in front of you, with no distractions. I practice mindfulness first thing in the morning by petting one of my cats, whichever one is on the table drinking out of my water glass (usually Henry but sometimes a different one). I pay attention to the feeling of the fur (all four of my cats feel very different on my fingertips), the sound of the cat’s purr, and I enjoy his head pressing against my hand. I focus on him for at least two minutes, and that act grounds and centers me for the day ahead.
Read my Bible. I have the One Year Chronological Bible on my Kindle Fire, and I read one daily section every morning. I’m currently at a really dry part (Deuteronomy – all the laws and rules for the people of Israel), but knowing I’ve done it makes me feel fulfilled and accomplished right off the bat in my day.
Pray. As Christians, we are called to call out to the Lord in prayer. Actually, we are called to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:17), but it starts for me first thing in the morning with a prayer for all the things in my prayer box which I thought I’d posted about but apparently, I have not. I will get on that soon as it is the foundation of my entire prayer life.
Look at my planner. I write out my main, long-term To Do items, goals-driven items from my PowerSheets, appointments, and work commitments a week at a time, usually on Monday mornings, but I look at it daily to see what’s coming up and important for the day. While I’m doing this, I add anything from my brain dump that feels important and schedule that into a time slot.
Greet my children. Every morning, the first time I see my kids, I say, “Good morning Sunshine.” Every morning, both kids. This will come up again below when I talk about bedtime, but being called Sunshine is important to my girls, and it sets our day on a nice, friendly, loving note.
Write. I love to write, and I love posting on my blog, so every morning, I try to get in at least a couple paragraphs worth of writing, whether it’s for a blog post or just in a journal (but usually for a blog post). You may not be an avid writer, and that’s perfectly okay, but it is a small task that allows me to chip away at something big which is posting on my blog twice a week. Perhaps your big thing is keeping your house spotless, and so you spend 15-30 minutes on that every day. Or perhaps your big thing is a DIY project that you can work on a little at a time. It doesn’t matter what your big job is, if you do it a little bit every day, it will eventually get done.
Exercise. I walk 2 miles every day at lunchtime. I take a 40-minute lunch break from work and walk quickly around my neighborhood to get in my 2 miles, rain or shine. The only times I don’t walk are when it is too cold (like sub-zero wind chills) or icy. In those cases, I do 40 minutes on the elliptical machine which I pretty much hate. But in any case, exercise gets my blood pumping, makes my brain sharper, and makes me feel energized and ready for the second half of my day. I used to hate exercise with a fiery passion, but now I don’t go a day without it. Ever.
Eat healthy food. I eat less than 1,000 calories a day, exclusively lean proteins and vegetables with protein shakes and possibly a tiny bit of fruit. I don’t expect you to eat like me, but you should eat most of your calories from lean meats and vegetables and fruits with few carbs and no refined or processed foods if you want to feel your best.
Drink enough water. I said earlier that I start every day with a big glass of water, but I think it’s worth mentioning that I drink frequently throughout the day as well. My goal for myself is to drink six 16 ounce glasses of water a day. Most of us are chronically dehydrated which can lead to fatigue, constipation, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and a whole host of other body issues.
Self-care. A lot of the things on my list are self-care, to be honest, but I take time out of every day just for me. My current favorite self-care activities are crocheting and watching Outlander which I make time to do every day. I have also at different times done scrapbooking, Bible journaling, crafting, gardening, and playing games.
Read or listen to something that makes me think. I try to get in a few minutes a day to enrich myself and my knowledge. Sometimes I squeeze this in during my daily walk or after work in the afternoon. I’m currently reading Silent Impact: Stories of Influence Through Purpose, Persistence, and Passion for a professional book club through my company.
Hug and kiss my children. I’m not a touchy feely person, but the other three members of my family are all extremely touchy feely and need that. I have learned over a very long time to appreciate the hugs and kisses of my kids, and I make sure I do it at least once every day.
Hug and kiss my husband. See above. Marriages need touch to cultivate intimacy, and hugging and kissing every day is just the beginning, so I make a point to seek him out at least once a day. Grossing the kids out is an added bonus.
Post on Instagram. I don’t get to this every single day, but I try to do it more often than not. I like Instagram for a lot of reasons, especially that it makes me stop and think about what events I want to capture and remember in our life.
Enjoy my kids. I make a point to spend some time every day with my kids, doing something fun, whether that’s playing a game, doing a craft, or (my least favorite) watching tv or a movie together.
Connect with my husband. If I’m not careful, I can go through my day, work, spend some time with my kids, homeschool, do my own stuff, and not spend a minute with my husband. I have, over the last couple of months, made a daily habit of sitting in the room with him while he makes supper so that we can chat about our days while the kids play in another room. I usually crochet and listen to whatever he wants to say and try to make our conversation meaningful.
Look at my Tending List from my PowerSheets. PowerSheets are goal planners that help you to achieve your long term goals in tiny bites one month at a time. There is a tending list each month where you write down your monthly, weekly, and daily goals. Each afternoon, I look at my tending list and check off anything I’ve accomplished in the last 24 hours. It helps keep me focused as to where I am and where I want to go.
Practice gratitude. I have at different times in my life written in a gratitude journal, but at the moment, I am doing a Gifts from God jar with my whole family. It sits in our dining room, and I try to write at least one thing to put in it every day. You should go read the whole post on gratitude, but in short, research has shown that people who describe themselves as joyful actively practice gratitude every day. So I do it every day because I want more joy in my life.
Connect with the important people in my life. Relationships are vital to human beings. I make a point to intentionally cultivate the relationships that are most important to me by calling someone (usually Old Grandma who is not connected in any other way), writing out a quick note to drop in the mailbox, emailing, or sending off a quick text. It only takes a couple of minutes but it leaves me feeling connected and loved by loving others.
15 minute pick up. I have to admit that we don’t do this as often as we should, but when we do, it makes our days so much better. The idea is that everyone in the family picks up the living room for 15 minutes. When we all do it together, it makes an hour of cleaning! A lot can happen in an hour, and it makes big afternoon-long cleaning sessions unnecessary.
Do one load of laundry. This is another habit that I only sometimes remember, but when I do, things go better and we don’t run out of underwear.
End each day with a big glass of water. See above where I talked about starting the day with water and drinking frequently throughout the day. Your body needs water, so first thing and last thing are good times to get in some extra.
Read aloud to my children. As I said above, I put my girls to bed by lying with them every night. The first thing we do after we turn off the light is to read a story (on my Kindle Fireon night mode). We have been reading from the fairy books by Andrew Lang for months now, and there is no end in sight. These are NOT fairy books just for girls. They are fairy tales of all kinds of people and places and all kinds of magical things. They aren’t sanitized Disney-fied stories, some are a little troubling and some have themes that wouldn’t be appropriate for the littlest listeners. We love them and the girls look forward to our reading time.
Sing to my children. Another of our favorite bedtime rituals is when I sing to the girls. I put together a special collection of lullabies and favorite songs when Grace was naught but a week old, and the fifth song on the CD is “You Are My Sunshine” by Elizabeth Mitchell. I sing along with that song every night (unless I have a sore throat or something), and the girls crave it. They recently said something that made me realize they think every kid’s mom sings to her at bedtime, which I thought was absolutely lovely.
Read for pleasure. When I put the girls to bed at night, we talk and cuddle a bit, and then they settle down to sleep. When that happens, I get out my Kindle Fire (on night mode) and read Outlander (I’m on my second reading of the series and just started book 5, The Fiery Cross.) I really, really enjoy the epic stories (as you probably already figured out since I have now talked about the tv series, the podcasts, and now the book series).